Loyalties
by ylana
Summary: Sam knows where her loyalties lie. Episode-tag to New Order. Sam/Jack-ish.


Disclaimer: The Stargate Universe and its characters do not belong to me and I am making no money with this story.

Spoilers: Season 8: New Order; Season 7: Lost City; Season 6: Unnatural Selection

* * *

**Loyalties**

The cot is small, really small. Sam fits into it only by bending her knees and lying quietly on her side. If she turns, she will fall off.

But it wasn't designed for human use after all.

Sam watches the blue lights fly past the window as the _Daniel Jackson_ glides silently through hyperspace.

She is free, and safe; and they have the Colonel, and the Ancient knowledge is gone from his mind and he's not about to die; and they are all going home, finally. And Sam should be overjoyed at how everything has turned out. Instead she lies quietly on her side and watches the blue lights and tries very hard not to think.

* * *

She hears the door hiss open, and a moment later, her view on the blue lights is blocked by a pair of BDU-clad legs.

She tilts her head upwards to greet the newcomer.

"Hi, Sir."

He looks down at her. "Still awake, huh?"

She forces a smile. "This isn't exactly comfortable."

"Doesn't look that way."

He sits down on the second cot in the small room and begins to remove his sidearm and bullet-proof vest, shoving both into the space underneath the cot.

"I was ordered to bed by Thor," he says by way of explanation. "Something about my body needing to recover from the effects of being deep frozen and then revived."

He lies down on his back with his knees drawn up, making a noise that is somewhere between a groan and a sigh.

"God! I feel like I'm never going to be warm again!"

She knows the feeling. Something inside her is frozen; and she doesn't remember whether it started in the cold metallic bowl of Fifth's ship, or down there in Antarctica when the cruel white light enveloped Jack's body…

"Do you remember what happened?" she asks in a vain attempt to drag her thoughts in another direction.

"It's still a little fuzzy."

He squirms and wriggles on his cot until he is lying on his side as well, facing her. Their faces are less than a half meter away from each other; and if it wasn't for the gap between their cots, it would feel like lying side by side.

"I _do_ remember _you_, though," he says, and there is something like surprise in his eyes, as if the image had come to his mind just now. "The way you looked, just before…"

Before she knows what she's doing, her hand is reaching out towards him, across the gap. His hand meets hers half way; and their fingers intertwine and form a bridge between their bodies. Heat travels back and forth over that bridge and Sam can feel the ice beginning to thaw.

"How about you?" he asks. "You okay?"

She nods weakly. "It's strange," she says. "I know that he hurt me. Badly."

Her voice is quivering a little, and her fingers unwittingly squeeze Jack's hand. His answering pressure is reassuring.

"But it feels surreal now," she continues. "I guess it's true that the human brain can't consciously remember pain."

She drops her eyes to watch the circling motion his thumb makes over the back of her hand.

"I'm afraid of what I might remember subconsciously though," she whispers. "I'm afraid of going to sleep."

His grip on her hand tightens; and there is comfort in that gesture, but also helplessness; because he's been in that place, and he knows there isn't much he can do to help her.

"Sorry," he says very quietly.

Her eyes shoot up to meet his again. "For what?"

He shrugs awkwardly.

"You could argue that this is my fault. You didn't betray Fifth. I did. You only followed my order."

She shakes her head. "There is always a choice. I could have ignored that order, could have pretended that I didn't see your hand signal. But I didn't. I chose my loyalties."

The corner of his mouth crooks up in a very faint smile. "Regret it?"

She meets his gaze squarely, without blinking.

"Never."

* * *

The cot is small, and not exactly comfortable; but their hands form a bridge between them, and Sam is feeling calmer than she has in a very long time.

Soon enough, they are drifting off to sleep, their hands still holding on to each other across the gap.

* * *

A/N: My first SG-1 fic. I'm not really sure if I'm happy with it... Tell me what you think?


End file.
